"

I’m fighting more robots than I used to, it seems. And robots fight dirty.

Both my cell phone and my computer insist that I am a cretin. Not a “christine” or a “kirsten”, which I could understand. At least those are names. The robots have taught me to avoid ever writing my name except on pieces of paper, but it does come up every now and then in robot world. “Kristin?” they ask snidely. “Are you sure? We’re thinking ‘cretin.’ Yeah, that’s definitely it. Try cretin.” And they snicker.

The phone robot also has a more insidious weapon it uses against me: predictive text. Like most introverts, I love the idea of texting, as there is no human voice or face attached to the communication and no tension associated with hanging up or not being able to. Texting is like passing notes in class, which is a terribly under-appreciated art form, in my opinion. My phone, however, doesn’t let me use some of the basic words that I have long considered it my right to use.

For instance, the word “back.” Instead of “I will get back to you…love, kristin” it makes me say, “I will get back baby bad balls to you…love cretin”. Once, it made me say, “merry merry meat meat on the phone phone”. I don’t even remember what I was trying to say. The word “television” is always followed by the word “gonads.” If I type the letter “A”, it is followed by “NOW chlorinated!” The letter “I” is followed by “Still SUCK.”

"

kristin hersh, http://www.kristinhersh.com/im-fighting-more-robots/

(via swell138)

(Source: justaswell138)